The Tortures of a Broken Mind
by Rathian Empress
Summary: It all started when Thor invited his warrior friends to stay with him in Tony's tower. 'For a time of partying' he'd said. For a reason Thor does not understand, Loki does not like his friends. Well, one in particular, but, since they all came together, it might as well be all of them. All of his problems began with one person. It all started wth Fandral... Explict rape elements
1. The Fear Loki Tried To Forget

**Author's Note:** I swear, this really wasn't going to have any Thorki in this series but then when I got to the first horizontal line break (Well second) it just popped in my brain and wouldn't get out. Now I can't continue without it.

Sooo...ENJOY!

Also this work has been changed just a tiny bit. Due to some confusion of how/why JARVIS didn't say crap about the rape part, I fixed it so it's more...believable I guess. If you don't wanna read the whole thing again then here's a summary. :

**DO NOT READ THIS QUICK SUMMARY IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THIS FIC BEFORE AND/OR DO NOT WANT SPOILERS!**

Bruce wastes his drink on the main power source of the tower Tony left out before going on a business trip. Tony is a genious so he miniturized it. The power goes out. The Avengers meet up on Steve's floor-AKA the Communal Floor-to wait for the emergency back up power to come on.

While everything is haywire, Fandral sneaks up to Loki's floor to have a little talk. Rape happens. There are stairs in the tower in case power is shut down in the tower and that's how he gets to Loki. He leaves via the stairs.

**WARNING DARK!FANDRAL/ABUSED!LOKI**

**THIS FIC INVOLVES EXPLICIT RAPE ELEMENTS AHEAD!**

**DON'T LIKE DON'T READ**

* * *

><p>Thor sighed as he entered the tower, happy to finally be away from all the Council meetings and the exhaustion of Asgard. To be among friends whom he could relax with. He dropped Mjolnir over near the elevator and flopped down onto the couch. Clint raised his beer in acknowledgement and then turned back to the tv.<p>

"Hey Pikachu, watch it. I just had that floor waxed." Tony said as he came out of the kitchen. He took a large bite out of his sandwich and sat down. "My apologies friend Stark. Would you like me to move my hammer?" he asked. Tony shook his head. "Nah. Hey, we're having pizza. You want me to order one for you?" Thor smiled. "If it is not too much trouble, perhaps a veggie one for Loki also." Tony told JARVIS to order the food. "I doubt he'll come down but you're welcome to break your back trying." Thor frowned.

"Is my brother unwell?" the god asked. "More like he's having a very long period." Clint chuckled at that. "Do Jotuns have periods?" the archer asked. Thor shifted uneasily. "I am not sure. Asgard and Jotunheim rarely cross paths enough where we exchange differences of the anatomy." he answered. He was going to have to ask Loki about the matter later.

"So where have you been?" Tony asked. Thor sighed. "There have been many things I had to straighten out with my father. I have only recently been given a break. So I have taken this chance to get away from Asgard and come visit Loki. How is he?" Thor asked again. Tony sighed. "Still bitter as usual. But not as much. I've gotten him a few books though. At least that softened him up a bit." Thor seemed to lighten up at the mention of Loki improving.

"I think I shall go see him now. Perhaps my presence will raise his spirits." Thor said.

* * *

><p>Loki sat in his room, reading one of the books that Tony had gotten him. The gesture had been a nice welcome to the tower, but he could still feel the wary eyes of the Avengers on him everytime he went down to the communal floor of the tower to take his meals with them. His head jerked up as there was a flash in the distance; a long column of light reaching down from the sky. Then came the thunder.<p>

He rolled his eyes as the sound grew louder. He knew what was coming now. He moved to close the window he was sitting next to, just in case rain came too.

"Brother! I have returned from Asgard with news!" Loki heard his brother exclaim, thirty minutes later as soon as he stepped out of the elevator. Loki gave up on reading his book and closed it. He set it down on the table nearest him and pulled on a robe to cover up his nakedness. Thor entered just as he was tying it closed. The other god didn't even seem to notice and pulled him into a tight embrace.

"Hello Thor. I missed you too, even though I shouldn't because you abandoned me for almost a year. I should be angry with you but I am too bored to think of a way to punish you properly." he mumbled into Thor's shoulder. "There was business the Allfather wished for me to take care of before I could even think about returning." He pulled back a bit.

"Why are you up here all alone brother? The others are on the Captain's floor about to enjoy a nice meal of pizza. Will you not join us?" Loki rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Pizza, really? It is nothing but a grease filled piece of bread with cheese and meat atop it. I will not pollute my body with such a monstrosity." Thor sighed, nuzzling Loki's neck. He ran his hands over the metal cuffs on his brother's wrists.

Odin had forced Loki to wear the magic restraints the moment he learned that Thor wanted to take Loki back to Midgard with him. He couldn't have any of Loki's mischief interfering with his plans now could he?

"Again, I am sorry Loki. There was absolutely no other way he would have let you leave that cell in Asgard." Thor told him. Loki sighed. "I don't like pizza Thor." Loki said, changing the subject. Thor frowned, catching the hint.

"You have not even tried it yet. If you wish, then you can have the one that comes with vegetables. I took the liberty of having Anthony order that for you. If you do not want it then I can eat it." Thor offered. Loki sighed as he pushed his brother away and wrapped his arms around himself. He turned to the window, watching the rain fall outside.

"You know they do not like me. Not really." Thor groaned and wrapped his arms around Loki's hips from behind. "_I_ like you." he said. Loki snorted. "Of course you do. I let you have sex with me so you have to or I would not do it." Thor smiled against his brother's back. "That is not all I love you for Loki." he said. Loki hummed, resting his palms against the cool window. Loki pressed his ass back into Thor's crotch. "Show me." Loki commanded. Thor sighed.

"As you wish."

* * *

><p>An hour later, Thor and Loki went down to Steve's floor. Everyone was already eating. Tony put his plate down and began clapping.<p>

"Bravo Thor. You managed to pull the Pale Skinned Wombat from it's cave. Quiet everyone. It might scare." Thor laughed and clapped Loki on the back. "See brother, I told you they did not hate you." Loki rolled his eyes, but, sat down and took a plate and a slice of pizza, setting it down on the table. Thor sat next to him and pulled his feet onto his lap.

"Looks like you two are working things out quite well." Clint observed from his perch on the counter. Thor smiled and Loki scowled, trying to pull his robe down. "I hate you for this." Loki said gesturing to the bare skin of his thighs. Thor's smile widened. "You could have at least let me put a pair of trousers on." Loki sulked as he crossed his legs. "I really think we should tell them." Thor whispered, which was quite a feat for him.

Loki shook his head. "Not yet." Loki growled. Tony fell onto the couch beside them. He wrapped an arm around Loki's shoulders and pulled his head onto his chest. "What are you two whispering about over here? Not another attempt to take over Midgard I hope." he said as Loki tried to push away from him. "Stark you are ruining my hair." the god hissed. Thor smiled. "I believe I already did that." he said sheepishly. Loki kicked his thigh, still struggling.

"Anthony I think you should let me go so I may eat." Loki said. Tony huffed and ruffled Loki's hair. "Your hair is really nice by the way." he said. Loki rolled his eyes. "Thank you Anthony. Perhaps I just may let you braid it." the god said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. The inventor chuckled and stuffed the last of the pizza crust into his mouth. Loki sighed and accepted the plate of his veggie pizza Thor handed him.

"So who wants to play poker after this?" Tony asked. Everyone groaned.

However later that night, Thor reported that he had to return to Asgard for a few days to straighten out some things. Loki eyed the flashing pendant around his brother's neck. Apparently the Allfather had given him a summoning stone. How convenient.

* * *

><p>"Everyone I have great news!" Thor shouted happily. Everyone turned to look at the blond god. Usually when Thor got excited about a piece of news he wanted to share, it involved all of them.<p>

"What is it Hammer Time?" Tony asked, scotch in one hand and a burrito in the other. Loki eyed his brother curiously.

"It has been decided that a few of my friends will be visiting Midgard in a few days time." Thor beamed. Tony jumped up and down, careful not to spill anything. "Hey! They can stay here! Oh this is gonna be so much fun. What do they like?" he asked. Loki rolled his eyes. "Oh wonderful. More Asgardians. I can barely tolerate _you_ and now you wish to crowd me with more of your kind. How thoughtful." the Trickster scoffed. Thor shook his head and Clint just sighed into his hand.

"Who are these friends Thor?" the archer asked. "You may have heard of them. Lady Sif and the Warriors Three."

On the couch Loki closed the book he had been reading with a sharp snap and sat up.

"Are you saying that _all_ of them will be...visiting?" he asked. Thor nodded enthusiastically. Loki's gaze hardened. "Even Fandral? And Volstagg? Along with Sif _and_ Hogun?" he said slowly. "Of course. They have even expressed their eagerness to see you again. I find it wonderful that our friends are so eager to allow me to share the wonders of Midgard with us."

Loki stood and straightened his clothes. "I don't like Fandral." he hissed, brushing past the other god to get to the elevator. Thor frowned. "What is the matter with Fandral? I do not understand. Ever since we were children you have disliked Fandral. What has he done to scorn you so?" Thor demanded. Loki whipped around, pointing a black, long-nailed finger into his chest.

"You do not know him like I do." he said. Thor stared at the intensity in his brother's eyes. Tears threatened to spill over his long, dark lashes, but, Loki blinked and they cleared away. Loki took a deep breath and took a step back. "Loki?" Thor whispered softly. Loki ignored him and continued on.

"Brother, wait! Please tell me what is wrong." he pleaded.

Loki stepped into the elevator and commanded JARVIS to take him to his floor. After he stepped out, he ordered that no one be allowed to step onto his floor without his permission.

"Mr. Laufeyson, I do not-" Loki glared up atthe ceiling. "I do not care what you think. You are but a simple machine. Do as you are bid." Loki snapped. "Very well sir." the AI said before going quiet.

Loki went into his room and threw the book at the wall. It did not satisfy him in the least. He wished it was a dagger going into Fandral's heart instead. Loki threw himself onto his bed and closed his eyes.

As he lay there, he realized that tears were streaming from his eyes. He wiped them away furiously. He refused to show weakness. Especially now that he knew he was going to see Fandral again.

* * *

><p>Thor sighed, trying to negotiate with JARVIS. "What if I just go up and bring him some chocolate?" the god asked. "Mr. Laufeyson does not desire anything at the moment. He says if he does then he will tell you to send up one of the robots Sir has built." Thor looked at Tony, who had a spoon sticking out of his mouth eting a large bowl of ice cream.<p>

"Can you not override this?" the god asked desperately. Tony shrugged. "I think you should just give Loki some privacy for now." the inventor advised. Thor squared his shoulders. "That is not the question I asked you Man of Iron. Can you override the command?" Thor asked again. Tony sighed. "Of course I can. JARVIS is _my_ AI. I just think that you should give him some time to cool off. That's all." Thor glared at him. Steve gripped his shoulder.

"I think you should listen to Tony." he said. Thor pressed his lips together. "I feel I have done something wrong, but, I do not know what to do." the god said helplessly. Natasha sipped her pina colada. "Maybe you should go out and get him something nice. Like an apology gift." she suggested. Thor looked at her. "You truly think that would be a good idea?" he asked. Natasha shrugged. "It works when Clint does it." She smiled at her secret/undecided/unofficial boyfriend. The man shrugged.

"Hey, if you're lover is mad at you, you have do what you have to do." he said. Thor froze. "L-lover? How did you...?" The god glanced at the other people in the room.

"It's kinda obvious that you and Loki are having sex Thor." Clint told him. Tony stared at the god, burrito halfway to his mouth. "Wait...you and Loki are having sex?" he cried. Thor looked at him worriedly. "Would you not like us to do it in the tower?" he asked. Tony almost dropped his food. "Am I hearing this correctly here?" he asked.

"You're screwing your brother. That's incest!" he exclaimed. "Loki and I do not share a bloodline. And he is adopted." the god tried to explain. Tony gave an exasperated cry. "But-but you guys were raised together! Brought up as brothers. You even say he's your brother!" he said. Thor sighed. "It is...complicated." he told them after a long moment. Tony flopped back down into his seat.

"This is so messed up." he said into his hands that were covering his face.

* * *

><p>Loki refused to come down from his floor for two days. And even then, it was to try and get Thor to reconsider having the warriors stay at the tower.<p>

"Why not let them experience the wonder of a hotel?" the dark haired god asked. Thor shook his head. "Stark has insisted they stay here. And besides that, I will not have my friends stay in a parasite ridden tavern." Loki glared at him. "Fine then. But do not expect me to welcome them when they arrive on the morrow." he swore. Thor watched him march away, back to the elevator.

Natasha came out of the kitchen and sat in the chair he was standing next to. "Do you think something happened back then to make him hate your friends?" she asked. Thor shook his head. "I do not understand what has come over him. My friends hve never been very fond of him because of his pranks, but he has never acted this way in the past. He's never liked them Especially Fandral, but...I do not know."

Natasha screwed the cap off her bottle of water and took a long drink. "You want me to talk to him or something?" she asked. Thor was quiet for a long moment. "Would you? I...it seems I just make him so angry when I bring up the subject. Perhaps he would trust you more because you are-" Natasha shot him a look. "Don't you dare say it's because I'm a woman." she warned with a slight smile. Thor sighed. "I was going to say that you are like him in many ways." he told her. She smiled and patted his arm.

"Don't worry Thor. Black Widow's got this in the bag."

* * *

><p>Loki stiffened when he heard the elevator doors open.<p>

"Thor I thought I told you to stay off of my floor. I thought I could trust you to control yourself bet apparently I shall have to ask JARVIS to bar you from my floor again. Leave now and I will not kill you." he gowled. Natasha stepped into the bedroom.

"Well Thor was smart enough to heed your warning." she said with a smirk. Loki eyed her closely. "Did he send you in his place then?" Natasha looked around the room, which was even more imaculate than hers, from the carefully placed furniure down to the scrolls stacked in the bookcases.

"I volunteered." she told him. Loki pulled his knees against his chest and laid his chin on the arms he crossed over them. "Oh really? How considerate of you." he sneered. The spy ignored the tone of his voice. If she'd learned anything about the god, it was that he became harsh with his words and tone of voice when it came to emotional subjects. She sat down besde him and steeled herself. "How did you get up here? JARVIS was supposed to keep everyone away." the god said. Natasha shrugged. "I'm a spy Loki. It's what I do." she told him. He frowned.

"Look Loki, Thor's upset because you're upset. He just wants to know what's wrong here. And then you get mad and push him away-don't deny it Loki we've all been seeing it happen for the past week now." Loki stopped shaking his head. "My quarrels does not lie with Thor, Lady Romanov." he said quietly. She sat down beside him under the window.

"Then where do they lie?" she asked. She barely heard it, but, Loki's breath hitched and his fingers gripped his elbows, the nails digging into skin. "Loki?" she pushed gently.

"I do not wish to speak of my distresses with you. Ever. Now leave my sight. Your very being makes me ill." he snapped. Natasha stood gracefully and slowly walked from the room. She paused at the elevator.

"I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk about anything, you can come to me. I don't judge."

* * *

><p>Thor looked up hopefully as she stepped from the elevator. She shook her head. "I had thought so." he muttered. She gave a small smile. "He just needs time to open up." she assured him. Thor nodded. "I appreciate your attempt." the god told her. She poked his shoulder. "No problem. I don't mind." she said. She disappeared into the kitchen for a snack. 'Maybe a nice glass of vodka.' she thought.<p>

Tony greeted her asshe entered the kitchen. "Hey Widow. Who did you kill this time?" he asked. She rolled her eyes. "Hello Tony." she said. The inventor huffed. "How's things with Loki?" he asked. She shrugged. "Why are you asking me?" she said. ony sighed. "Well I saw when Thor had you go and takl to the crazy god instead of going himself. What's up with that?" Natasha shook her head. "It's none of your business Stark."

The engineer feigned shock. "Well I never..." he gasped. Natasha ignored him and gathered the necessary ingredients to make a sub. "See you later Tony. I'll be up on my floor." she told him. He frowned. "If you were going back to your floor, why'd you come down here and make yourself a sandwich? You have food on your floor you know." The spy shrugged.

"I ran out of pepperoni and jalapeno peppers." she said. He raised an eyebrow. "Really?" he said. She grinned. "And steak." she added. "For Clint I'm guessing." he said. She nodded. Tony made a shooing motion with his hands. "Go on. Clint's probably looking for you. Go feed the birdie before he starts pecking our eyes out." he said. She sighed and then left.

Tony straightened and went out into the livingroom. "Hey Thor! What has you looking so sad?" he asked. Thor glaced at the man, shaking his head. "It is Loki. He is still upset. I sent the Lady Romanov to speak with him, but, he pushed her away. I do not know what else to do. Sif and the Warriors Three are already on their way tomorrow. I just do not see why he hates them so much." He covered his face with his hands. Tony patted his back.

"It's ok Thor. I'm sure he'll come around." Thor nodded. "I hope so Anthony. I cannot bear for this tension to continue to exhist between Loki and my very best friends." Tony grunted unhappily. "I thought I was your best friend." he pouted. Thor let out a small laugh. "You are Man of Iron. One of my most treasured."

* * *

><p>Thor embraced his friends as soon as they stepped from the light of the Bifrost. "My friends! It is so nice to see you. Come. We shall share drink and eat. Then I will take you to many popular eaterys. We shall celebrate until Ragnorok!" he proclaimed. "Where is Loki? Will he not be joining us?" Fandral asked. Thor gripped the back of Fandral's neck and pulled him close.<p>

"I know not where my brother is at the moment. Though I would have to guess that he is still in his chambers. He uh...was not too excited about the idea of you all visiting. He refuses to come down from his floor." Sif shook her head. "Still arogant as always." she muttered. Thor sighed. "Come then. Do not let my brother's foul mood spoil our plans." the thunder god urged.

* * *

><p>The Avengers hadn't seen Loki for three days now since the warroirs came. He didn't bother them though. Until the fourth day that was when he had JARVIS call down to Tony to ask for another bottle of scotch. The inventor simply rolled his eyes and remained where he sat.<p>

"Tell him that if he wants it he's gonna have to come down and get it himself. This isn't Asgard. I'm not his fucking servant." JARVIS relayed this to the god.

Over in the corner, Fandral laughed. The man had claimed that he needed time to rest after partying with Thor two days straight all day and all night long. In reality, he was hiding from Sif, who had caught him flirting and kissing another woman. Apparently they were together.

"Finally someone who doesn't give in to the arrogant bastard's every whim. I commend you Man of Iron." he said. Tony raised his glass at him, not looking up from the gauntlet he was working on as the other man stood to go into the kitchen and refresh his own drink.

Twenty minutes later Loki stepped out of the elevator. He glared at Tony, but the engineer paid him no mind. "There's scotch in the kitchen. And tequila." he offered. The god snorted and walked past him into the kitchen. He snarled at Tony when the man practically fondled him on the way past. The inventor looked up at him innocently.

Loki sighed and entered the kitchen. He opened the cabinet he knew where Tony kept his liquor on his floor. Since he was all out, he grabbed one of the many bottles of scotch inside, a bottle of tequila, burbon and one of whiskey. He sighed and gathered the bottles in his arms.

"That sure is a lot of alcohol." Fandral said quietly. Loki froze, dropping the bottle of scotch he was holding. He spun around to face the other man.

Fandral lifted his drink in greeting. "Hello Loki. Long time no see huh?" The god backed away from him, not even grabbing another scotch bottle from the cabinet. "What's going on in there?" Tony called from the livingroom. Fandral smiled. "Nothing. Just a little accident." he said. Loki glared at him. "You know, I missed seeing you Loki. Perhaps we can...hang out as the mortals say. Get to know each other again. Like we used to."

Loki ran back to the elevator, ignoring Tony's cry of distress when he almost knocked over the project he was working on.

Loki dropped all but one of the bottles on his sofa and opened the last. He drank deeply from it, the alcohol burning his throat on its way down. He took a deep breath and placed it on the counter. He wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Is everything alright Mr. Laufeyson?" JARVIS asked. Loki shook his head and took another drink. "No one comes up to my floor today JARVIS." he said. "Yes sir." the AI answered.

* * *

><p>Fandral sighed and sat back down. Tony looked up at him. "What's with you and Loki?" he asked. Fandral smiled. "Why do you ask?" the warrior said. Tony shrugged. "Loki just ran out of here like a bat out of hell." he told him. Fandral raised an eyebrow.<p>

"Well, we had a dispute some centuries ago. We were...once romantically involved." he began slowly. Tony sat forward. "You and Loki? No way." he said, shaking his head. Fandral laughed. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked. Tony smiled. "I just don't see you and him together. He's so...I mean he attacked New York. And he's insane." the engineer pointed out. Fandral sighed.

"He wasn't always like this. He was nice...once. I really don't know what happened. _Something_ happened obviously, but, he never told us anything about it. I was always good to him though." He drained the rest of his glass and slammed it down onto the table. Tony stared at it. "He never appreciated my affections." Fandral said quietly. Tony sighed. "Well, that's what you get for dating a prince. From what I hear, most of them are snobs anyway."

"I'm gonna go talk to him." Fandral told him. Tony smiled. "Good luck." Fandral stood abrumptly and went to the elevator. Once he was in he requested to go to Loki's chambers. "I am sorry, but, Mr. Laufeyson has asked that no one be allowed onto his floor today." Fandral pinched the bridge of his nose and went back down to Tony's floor.

"What's the matter? He kick you out that fast?" the inventor asked. Fandral shook his head. "Your machine said he's not letting anyone up." Tony frowned. "Well that's not right. You should be allowed to make up with him. No matter how mad he is." Fandral smiled. "What will you do?" he asked. Tony grinned.

"How about when I get back from my business meeting I arrange a nice dinner for you too. You both can go out somewhere nice and eat. You both can talk a bit; fix things between you both." the inventor suggested. Fandral smiled. "I think that would be excellent." the warrior said.

"Thank you Anthony Stark." he said. "I will make sure Loki acknowledges me." he said.

"You better. I expect you and Loki to be curled up together on the sofa on the communal floor in two months." Fandral laughed. "Well, I'll try."

* * *

><p><span><strong>2 weeks later<strong>

Tony sighed. He was in a business suit, standing in front of the mirror studying every inch of his appearance. Pepper had called him an hour ago, telling him not to be late for the meeting in Japan.

He gave himself another once-over before stepping away. He went to the elevator and rode down to the communal floor to check in on things. He didn't really like meetings. But, being the owner of a a billion dollar company required him to attend.

Steve greeted him with a smile when he entered the room. "Hey Tony. Good luck at the meeting." the captain said. Tony grinned. "As if they'd say no the the great Tony Stark." he huffed. He looked over at Thor who was trying to operate the toaster. He frowned.

"I really don't want to leave now." he said, pointing. Steve sighed. "Thor be careful. Those _can_ catch fire and will if not handled properly." he said. Thor smiled and just nodded. "Good day friend Stark. I wish you victory in your current battle." he said.

Tony sighed.

* * *

><p>Bruce bit into his sandwich, watching the screen of molecules swim around. He glanced over at the arc reactor lying out.<p>

Tony hadn't been able to make any more repairs to JARVIS since he'd had to leave for a business meeting. The machine was apparently a miniaturized version of it, connected to the main frame. It was quite careless of Tony to leave it out.

He sighed and reached out to grab it so he could put it away.

Everything happened in slow motion.

His drink spilled and spread across the table. It reached the arc reactor and the device fizzed and began to make worrisome crackling noises. Then the lights went out and the tower went into Emergency Power Mode.

"Uh oh."

* * *

><p>Natasha sighed as she got up. The lights had cut off suddenly and the power had shut down.<p>

"Banner!" she yelled.

* * *

><p>Clint cursed as he made his way to the elevator. Who knew that the tower went into complete lock down when the main power core shut down?<p>

"JARVIS open the elevator." he said. No response. "JARVIS?" he asked. Shit. The AI was down too. Oh well at least they had stairs too. And vents. Thank God for vents.

* * *

><p>The Avengers all met up on Steve's floor. The Captain himself was lighting candles in the dark room.<p>

"Alright so apparently the power went out and the back up power is booting up. Why don't we all just stay here until things improve ok?" Everyone nodded in agreement.

"But what of Loki? And my friends? Should they not also be accompanying us?" Thor asked. Steve shrugged and Clint snorted. "I say let Loki stay where he is for now. He's not doing any harm right? And you're friends are warriors. Surely a little darkness won't hurt them. Ok?" Thor nodded slowly.

"Alright. I trust you friends." he said.

* * *

><p>When the lights went out, Loki had been reading quite a good book. He sighed. "JARVIS I command that you turn the lights back on." Nothing happened.<p>

Loki hadn't been expecting there to be a secret staircase he didn't know about in the livingroom near the fireplace. He was surprised when he heard a door slide open and someone step out. Thinking it to be Natasha since she could so easily bypass Stark's protocols, he turned to greet her, and then tell her to go away. He did not expect it to be Fandral.

The god scrambled off the couch and onto the floor. Fandral watched him, eyes shining with amusement. "Hello Loki." he said. Loki stared at him. "L-leave my floor. Now." the god commanded. Fandral smiled and walked around the sofa. He sat down, crossing his legs and leaning back, ignoring the god.

"You were quite rude to me on Stark's floor. You know that?" he said quietly. Loki swallowed. "Fandral, please...just leave." Loki said, voice shaking. The warrior smiled. "You remember when we used to have so much fun?" he asked. Loki blinked back tears.

"Those times...weren't fun for me." he choked out. Fandral sighed. "Don't lie Loki. I hate it when you try to decieve me." Fandral snarled. He stood, making Loki drag himself away from him. "Don't move." Fandral ordered. Loki felt his body freeze against his will. The man was getting angry now. He knew from experience that things would end very badly for him if he disobeyed him while he was like this. There'd be even less punishment if he didn't.

Loki closed his eyes as Fandral ran a hand over his face. "You've always been so pretty." he whispered. Loki said nothing as his hand traveled down to his neck. "You know how this works Loki." he said. Loki sobbed openly as his clothes were removed by force. "Please Fandral, don't." he begged. Fandral smiled. "Say my name again." he ordered. Loki bagan to cry harder. "F-Fand-dral." he sobbed. Loki tried to pull away from the other man as his clothes were removed. "Please..." he said again.

Fandral forced him to bend over the kitchen counter. "You know you love this Loki." he whispered. He leaned close to Loki's ear. "Where do you keep the lubricant?" he asked softly. Loki let out a choked gasp. "I d-don't have an-any." he said. Fandral smiled. "Well this is going to be a very painful experience for you isn't it?" Tears spilled from the god's eyes.

"I have...oil." he said brokenly. Fandral smiled. "Come on then. We'll need it." He yanked Loki up by his hair and pushed him ahead. Loki went tward his bedroom. His legs were shaking so badly, he tripped over the rug on the floor. Using this to his advantage, Loki spun around and elbowed Fandral in the face. He hit him again so that he would fall to his knees and ran to the elevator, grabbing his pants on the way. Fandral cursed, wiping his bloody nose. He tackled Loki to the floor, pinning him there.

"You little bitch! After all I have given you, you _dare_ to strike me? You're so lucky I want to fuck you more than I want to punish you. Now get up. Try anything else and I'll break your fucking neck." he growled. He forced Loki into his bedroom and threw him onto the bed. He kept an eye on the god as he opened all of the god's drawers, looking for the mentioned oil. He smiled when his hand brushed against a hard shape.

"Oh Loki, you little slut." He held up the dildo, grinning. Loki turned his face away, his face burning with shame. Fandral finally found the oil and then stripped himself of his clothing. He climbed onto the bed on top of Loki. He kicked the god's legs apart and slicked his fingers before forcefully shoving a finger up Loki's anus. The god cried out in pain, the sound muffled against the pillow.

"Shhh. Don't worry Loki. You'll enjoy this soon." Fandral crooned. Loki sobbed as another finger was added and he felt himself being scissored open. After the addition of the forth finger, Fandral removed his hand and lined his slicked up cock up with Loki's entrance. Loki tensed as he shoved in, biting back his cry of pain. He would not give the bastard the satisfaction of hearing him scream.

After what seemed like forever, Loki finally felt Fandral spill into him, hearing the telltale groan above him. He unclenched his muscles in relief. It was finally over. He eard the other man stand and search for his clothes.

"Tomorrow night I expect you to be more compliant."

* * *

><p>Thor greeted Fandral as he stepped out of the elevator. "Where have you been friend?" the blond thunder god boomed. Fandral smiled. "I was speaking with your brother. We...straightened some things out." he said. He grabbed a bottle of water and took a long drink from it.<p>

"I think we're good now."


	2. The Fear Loki Tried To Hide

**Author's Note:** So over on ao3, people have been wondering why JARVIS did nothing to help Loki, and I am sure that there have been others over here wondering the same.

So basically I put in the first fic, that Tony assumed that Fandral and Loki were ex-lovers and he seemed to think that Fandral was going up to see Loki to rekindle their romance, AKA sexual acts, and he thought that they should have some privacy. In my head, JARVIS somehow always records the goings on in the tower unless Tony says not to. And Tony is also not a perv in this fic sooo...

That's what went on in my head. I changed it a bit by the way. Also put a small summary of what I changed at the top in case anyone didn't want to reread the entire thing again. You're welcome!

* * *

><p>Loki stayed in the shower for the rest of the day. No matter what, he still he couldn't wash away the filthy feeling he felt. He huddled on the shower floor, shaking. Fandral was coming back tonight. He knew that much.<p>

'Why hadn't JARVIS warned him?' he thought. Loki slipped out of the water and curled up on his bed naked. He couldn't bring himself to sully his clean clothes by placing them upon his skin.

"JARVIS..." he said. "Yes Mr. Laufeyson?" the AI replied pleasantly. Loki closed his eyes at the tone of the voice. It was too cheerful for how he felt right now.

"Where were you?" he asked. "I do not understand the question sir." the AI said. "Did you not witness my distress last night? When Fandral... when he..." Loki shoved his fist between his teeth and bit down as hard as he could. He ignored the metallic taste of his blood. "Mr. Laufeyson, would you like me to get you medical assistance?" JARVIS asked. Loki yelled and threw one of his pillows at the ceiling.

"You are completely useless! I was being...he hurt me and you did nothing!" the god snarled. The AI was quiet. "Would you like me to speak to Mr. Stark? He is currently on a plane to Japan for a business meeting. I had to notify him of a malfunction in my systems. I am sure he will not mind speaking with you." Loki wiped the blood on the sheets and stood. He ran his hands through his still wet hair.

"I think I am going to take another shower."

* * *

><p>"Hey kiddies." Tony's voice came in over the speakers. Natasha looked up at the image of the inventor projected across all of the screens in the room.<p>

"Hello Tony." she said. He nodded and looked at everyone else in the room. "JARVIS told me what happened. I managed to make a few repairs from here, but, the system isn't gonna be anywhere near as good as it was without me actually there to fix it." He looked over in Bruce's direction.

"From now on, no more drinks or food in the lab. Can't afford to have any more accidents while I'm gone now can we?" he asked. Bruce smiled and nodded. Tony grinned and clapped his hands together.

"Well then. Make sure you guys are careful from now on. The version of JARVIS currently running is just a basic one. No complex commands or anything. You'll just have to get off your lazy asses and get shit yourselves. And you should probably take the stairs from now on. Don't know if the elevators will work as well without JARVIS up and running. But you're welcome to try them." he advised.

Before he logged off he had a sudden thought. "Hey, how's Loki doing?" he asked. Natasha shrugged. "He's the same as usual. Only he refuses to come down from his floor." she explained. Tony sighed. "Damn. Harder than I thought it would be." he groaned. She frowned. "What?" she asked. He shook his head. "Nothing important. Bye for now."

The screen went back to the show it had been on before Tony called them. Natasha looked at the men around her.

"So...anyone wanna go check on Loki?" she asked sweetly. Everyone scattered in an instant when she said that. She sighed. "Oh well. I might as well look up what may be causing Loki to become so distant."

* * *

><p><em>Athazagoraphobia – the fear of forgetting, being forgotten or ignored, or being replaced.<em>

Natasha closed the book, tapping her nails across the hard cover. She looked up as Bruce calmly came out of the elevator. He looked around, then frowned.

"JARVIS tell Clint to get down to the lab right now. I've got this amazing idea for a new bow!" the man exclaimed. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"JARVIS...is everything in place in case of an emergency?" she asked. "Because of my limited abilities, I am limited in what I can do. However, I will certainly try my best to make sure what happened last time does not happen again." the AI answered. She nodded and took the elevator up to Loki's floor. Maybe he was feeling better this morning.

"Loki?" she called out. She frowned at the broken glass and the wrinkled and ripped clothes on the floor. Usually the god ws very- if somewhat annoyingly- neat.

Loki walked out of his bedroom, wearing a large black hoodie and black sweatpants. His long hair hung wetly across his forehead and he brushed it back, seemingly not caring that water was dripping down his face and back. "Lady Romanov...I- I was not expecting you so early. Excuse my attire. I just stepped out of the shower." he told her. He shifted nervously before offering her a seat.

"You seem...different today. Something wrong?" she asked him. He shook his head and picked up the open liquor bottle on the table. He took a long drink before he looked at her. "A little early to be drinking isn't it?" she asked. She lifted her hands when he glared at her. "I'm not judging. Just saying eat something first. It's bad to drink on an empty stomach." she said. His eyes narrowed.

"How do you know I have not eaten yet?" he asked. She smiled. "Who eats breakfast before showering?" she countered. He frowned and leaned back, taking another swig. She held her sigh in.

"Are you and Thor having problems? You wanna talk about it?" she asked. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but, closed it. "No. It's nothing." he said. She nodded slowly.

"Ok. You just wanna sit here and drink until Clint and Bruce fall asleep then? We can go and paint their faces when they do." she said. He smiled, looking up at the clock. "You would tolerate my company for that long?" he asked. She grinned. "I've lasted this long haven't I?" He nodded slowly.

She stood and pulled out a rather large bag from her pocket. "Now...let me ask you a question." He nodded for her to continue.

"What do you know of marijuana?"

* * *

><p>When Fandral stepped out of the elevator, he stared at the two people giggling and laughing on the floor. Natasha was holding up her game controller swinging it back and forth.<p>

"You're getting sleepy...close your eyes and and when you awake you will squeak like a gerbil." They both burst out laughing. Natasha rolled over and started giggling when her eyes landed on Fandral. "Oh my god! It's Frandal! Look Fandy! I'm teaching Loki about...about hypnotism." the spy said proudly. "You wanna try?" she asked, her voice slurring a bit. The warrior shook his head and stared down at Loki. The god was no longer laughing, nor smiling.

"I think it would be best if you leave now Lady Romanov." he said slowly. She sat up. "Whaaa...what time is it?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. Fandral sighed. "Much past the time you should be up here. Loki and I need to talk." he told her. She nodded and moved to stand. Loki grabbed her ankle. "Anything that needs to be said can be discussed in front of Miss Romanov." he said. Fandral scoffed.

"No...I do not think that will be possible. These matters are much more delicate. They are private matters of Asgard. You wouldn't want the Allfather to find out that you've shared a few family secrets with a Midgardian woman now would you, Loki?" He smiled when Loki began to loosen his grip on Natasha's ankle. He continued.

"But, if I must discuss them in front of her, then I will have to take precautions to make sure she does not reveal what is going to be discussed today." the warrior said. Loki swallowed. "You ok Loki?" Natasha asked. He nodded. "I think you should...go." he said quietly. "Are you sure?" she slurred. He nodded slowly. "Just go...please." he begged.

She nodded and staggered to the elevator. "Call me if you need anything Loki." she said over her shoulder. He watched her go, dreading the moment that the elevator doors closed. Fandral moved to stand over him.

"You know your place bastard. You have five minutes to prepare yourself." Loki stood and felt his way to the bedroom. He was too intoxicated to see straight. He was glad he had gotten so inebriated with Natasha because he couldn't feel his body. At least his time with Fandral wouldn't be as painful this time.

When Fandral entered the bedroom, Loki was sprawled out on top of the bedspread. He stared up at the ceiling, watching the dizzying designs of the runes he'd had Tony add to his room. He briefly wondered where the inventor was. He forced himself to stay still as Fandral climbed on top of him.

"Are you going to be a good boy for me tonight?" the man asked. Loki turned his head away. Fandral's treatment of him over the years was humiliating enough. Now he had to rub in his conquest. Fandral huffed and gripped his chin.

"Don't ignore me Loki." he growled, slapping the god sharply across the face. Loki closed his eyes, willing the tears to go away. "Are you going to be good fro me?" Fandral asked again. Loki nodded. "Yes." he choked out. Fandral smiled and slid out of his clothes.

"You've always been so good for me. So willing." Fandral kissed along his neck and Loki tried not to shudder in disgust. "And I've always been so good to you too. I never understood why you ignored me for so long."

Loki jerked under him. "You weren't worth my time." he snarled. Fandral sat up, glaring down at him. "Really? I seem to recall you enjoying sharing my bed at night. You liked it. I know you did." Loki glared at him.

"That is not true. I never enjoyed it when you snuck into my room. You always told me to be quiet. So Thor wouldn't hear us. You were always so secretive when you did it. You knew that if Thor found out that you'd been raping me, he would have killed you." Loki sneered. He gasped when Fandral wrapped an hand around his throat.

"You were a whore. You still are. Do not blame me because I didn't believe you when you said you were pregnant. You're a liar...a trickster. Anyone would have been doubtful."

He smiled as Loki wriggled under him, trying to pull away. "You always wanted me. You were always trying to seduce me." he growled, biting the god's neck. Loki let out a cry of pain when the skin broke. Fandral grinned and licked away the blood welling up around the wound.

"You were always so good for me."

* * *

><p>Natasha groaned as the sound of <em>Die MF Die<em> reached her ears. She lifted her head to look at the clock. _2:30 am_. She sighed, reaching for her phone.

It slipped from the table to the floor when she over reached and her hand unbalanced it from the edge it was teetering on. After a long struggle of untangling herself from the covers, she snatched it off of the floor and pressed the _answer_ button on the screen.

"What?" she snarled into the mouth piece. Fury sighed on the other end of the phone. "Why am I being told there was a power shortage in Stark's tower?" he asked. Natasha groaned. "Sir, it's 2 in the morning." she pointed out. "Agent Romanov, please answer the question." he told her.

"Bruce spilled something on a mini arc reactor thingy. It powers the tower you know. Water and electrical appliances definitely do not mix well. After Tony made some minor repairs from Japan, everything was fine." she explained. Maybe she'd just...close her eyes for a moment.

"Romanov! What are you doing. I asked you a question." Natasha snapped awake. "What is it sir?" she asked. "Where is everyone else? Loki is still secure isn't he?" Natasha sighed. "Loki is still secure. And everyone else is on their own floor I presume. Now is there anything else you need sir?"

"No Romanov. Just keep me up to date on Loki." he ordered. Natasha nodded. "Alright sir. Good night." she said, preparing to hang up. "Romanov?" he said. "Hmm? What do you need sir?" she asked.

"It's actually morning."

* * *

><p>Clint groaned, rolling off the desk. He fell onto the floor with a dull thud. "Hey. You're up. Great. I- I uh...think there's some progress." Bruce said. Clint peaked up at him from his position on the floor. The scientist had apparently had too much coffee this morning. And last night.<p>

"Bruce...I'm tired." he complained. The doctor smiled, twitching a bit. "I know. I know. Get up, get up, get up. I'm still not finished with you yet." Clint sighed and got to his feet. "Just hurry it up." he growled.

* * *

><p>Loki curled against the edge of the bed as Fandral slipped out of it. He watched the man stretch before picking up his clothes and pulling them on.<p>

"I'm going to take a shower. You're welcome to join me." he offered. Loki hid his face under the covers. Fandral sighed. "Alright. Be that way. But, I expect you downstairs on the communal floor today. I want to show you off a bit." He saw Loki's head move which he took for a nod.

The god listened to the sound of the shower, not moving until it cut off. Fandral came out of the bathroom thankfully clothed. He dried his hair and then tossed the towel onto the bed. "Get up Loki. You can't sleep all day. I know last night was tiring, but, that's just how it is."

Loki sat up and swung his lags over the side of the bed. He could feel Fandral's eyes on him as he stood, still naked. "It's not polite to stare." he said quietly. Fandral laughed. "Well how can I help myself when I have such a beautiful creature to stare at all day long." Loki went into the bathroom and closed the door. When he came out, Fandral was gone.

* * *

><p>"Good morning Fandral." Steve greeted, flipping the pancakes in the pan. The warrior smiled, running his fingers through his hair. "Good day Captain. I trust you slept well?" he asked. Steve nodded. "I did. And you?" he asked in return. Fandral's grin widened. "Well...I've always found that I sleep better with someone else in my bed if you know what I mean." He laughed when Steve began to blush.<p>

"I think it is good to know that yourself and the Lady Sif have finally made up." he said. Fandral sighed. "Well...not quite. But, we are getting there." he said. Just then the elevator opened and Natasha and Thor strode out, looking as if they just got out of bed, which they did by the way.

"Has anyone spoken to Loki lately? I have not seen him in a week now. I wish to talk to him and see what is wrong." Fandral patted his shoulder.

"Perhaps it is time you give your brother some space. I talked to him last night and it sounded as if...well you know how I always hate to be the one to bear bad news, but, he thinks your presence is smothering. He just wants to be left alone for a bit." Thor nodded slowly. "You have spoken to him?" Thor asked. Fandral nodded. "I have. Just give him a bit of space. That's all. I'm sure he'll come around." the warrior advised.

Natasha stared at the man next to Thor. She rather liked Fandral, but, she just didn't have a good feeling about him.

"Really Fandral? Are you sure he was in his right mind when he was saying this?" she asked. The man glanced in her direction, visably annoyed. "Yes. He told me everything last night." he insisted. Natasha eyed him. "He was quite intoxicated when I left. Perhaps you should talk to him yourself Thor. Get everything from the horse's mouth."

Thor nodded. "Yes. I will speak to him immediately." he declared, going to the elevator. Natasha smiled when Fandral glanced at her.

'Ha.' Natasha thought. 'Now try to break up Loki and Thor's relationship, you jealous bastard.'

* * *

><p>Loki stepped out of the shower, still dripping wet. He stared at himself in the full length mirror in his bedroom.<p>

There were dark bruises on his hips, neck and a one under his eye. He could cover up the ones on his face with makeup. Wearing more hoodies would hide the ones on his neck and it wasn't as if anyone would see the ones on his hips unless he were naked. But, Thor...the god was probably anxious to see him. They hadn't seen each other for a few weeks now.

He sighed and pulled on a pair of pants and another hoodie. He looked terrible, he knew. But, he didn't really care. He went over and got into the elevator.

"JARVIS take me to the Captain's floor." he said tiredly. He sighed when there was no response. The stairs then. He almost bumped into Thor on his way out who had been about to come up the stairs himself to see Loki.

"Brother! I was just on my way to see you. Why have you been avoiding me for so long Loki?" the god asked. Loki could feel Fandral's eyes burning his skin.

"Leave me alone Thor. I am feeling unwell today." he said. He pushed past his brother and went into the kitchen to sit down.

In truth, Loki didn't feel well. More like disgusted with himself, that he would even allow himself to take pleasure in seeing Thor when he didn't even deserve it. He accepted the glass of orange juice Steve slid to him and sipped it in silence. Fandral sat down next to him.

"Is everything alright, Loki?" he asked pleasantly. Loki resisted the urge to break the glass and slit the man's throat.

"I'm fine." he growled. He swallowed the bile that rose in his throat when Fandral wrapped his arm around his waist. Fandral urged Loki to lay his head on his shoulder, but, the god resisted. Loki forced himself to ignore the hurt look on Thor's face when he sat down at the table.

"Since when have you both become so close?" he asked. Loki stared at the space next to his brother's head, quiet. Fandral smiled.

"We are but friends Thor. I am sure that if Loki is looking for a lover he would have found one by now." Thor swallowed. "It would seem so." he said quietly, staring at them both. Loki continued to avert his eyes, his face burning with shame. He knew he couldn't tell Thor now. He didn't think the situation would end well.

Steve came over from the stove carrying a large stack of pancakes. "Who wants more breakfast?" he asked cheerfully, trying to make light of the uncomfortable atmosphere of the kitchen. No one said anything, so he placed the plate in the middle of the counter for them to help themselves. Thor put two on his empty plate and ate them slowly, still staring at Loki as he ate. After he finished, Thor stood abruptly and left the room.

Loki stared down at his untouched plate of food. He suddenly felt sick. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Fandral watching him. Loki swallowed the bile in his mouth and poured some syrup onto his pancakes. He cut a piece off and stuffed it into his mouth, hoping the sweet taste would overpower the bitterness in his mouth and make the sick feeling go away. It didn't, but, he still forced himself to eat.

Clint stepped out of the elevator, rubbing his hands together at the delicious smells coming from the kitchen. "I smell pancakes and sausage. Please tell me that there's enough left for me." he said. Steve smiled and nodded. "Good morning Clint. Help yourself. Thor wasn't really feeling well so he didn't eat as much as he usually does so there's plenty." Clint fist pumped the air and rushed over to prepare himself a plate.

"Had a pretty weird encounter with Thor this morning though. I saw the guy a few minutes ago." he said, stuffing a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. Everyone's attention was peaked now and they listened to him while they ate.

"He said he wanted to burrow a pair of my hunting knives. With the way he was looking at me, I was afraid to say no. I just hope he takes care of them. They were kinda my favorites." He cut a piece of sausage and dipped it in the syrup. Bruce shuddered. "That looks disgusting." he said. Clint shrugged. "Tastes good to me." he said, taking another bite. Bruce shook his head and spread some organic preservatives onto his french toast. The archer eyed Loki.

"So...I'm guessing you're the reason why Thor was upset." he observed. Loki glared at him, but, said nothing. The room was suddenly quiet again. Clint continued. "I miss something?" he asked, looking around. Loki took a sip of water to occupy his listless hands. He prayed that Clint would just stop talking.

"What happened? Usually you're all snarky and shit. What happened to that?" Clint pressed. Loki wiped his mouth. He threw down his napkin and stood. "Thank you Captain for the delicious meal but I am afraid I am feeling a bit under the weather. Excuse me." he said. Clint watched him as he walked away.

"Well...that was weird." he said nonchalantly. Natasha shook her head. "Why do you always have to do that, Clint?" she asked. He glanced at her, picking at his food. "What are you talking about?" he asked. She rolled her eyes. "You always have to pick a fight with Loki, Clint. Just let him be sometimes." He groaned, running a hand over his face. He dropped his empty plate onto the counter.

"You know Loki's a bastard. I don't care if he has been supposedly rehabilitated. He's still the same Loki that attacked New York in my eyes." He went back to the elevator and got in to go up to his room. Natasha sighed. "I better go talk to him." she said, getting up. "Who? Clint?" Bruce asked. She smiled. "No. Loki."

* * *

><p>As soon as he reached his floor, Loki tore off his clothes and stepped into the shower. Sitting next to Fandral for that length of time, even if it was short, made him feel unclean. He scrubbed at his skin mercilessly. Even after, he still didn't feel clean enough.<p>

"Loki! You ok?" he heard Natasha call from the elevator. He turned off the water and grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist. It slipped to the floor, out of his reach. He let out a small cry of anger as he lost his balance and slipped. "Loki?" Natasha called. Loki struggled to keep his voice as calm as possible. "I'm fine. I just...I need a moment." he told her, voice still wavering.

Outside, Natasha gave a small nod. "Ok. You wanna talk about what's eating you? You know...after you get out." she suggested. Loki crouched down in the shower, shaking his head. He took a deep breath. He couldn't stop shaking.

"I can't...I don't know what to do anymore." he said brokenly. Natasha perked up. "What are you talking about?" she asked. Loki gasped, his chest feeling as if it were about to explode. "Every time he looks at me...I feel sick." he forced out. Natasha took a step toward the bathroom. "Are you ok?" she asked worriedly. She tensed when she heard him begin to sob from inside the room. "Loki?" she asked.

"Loki, you don't sound too good. I'm coming in ok." she warned. When she got no response, she steeled herself and pushed the door open.

The god was curled up on the floor of the shower, shaking uncontrollably. His lips were moving but he was speaking too quietly for her to hear at that distance. She moved to pick up the towel and held it out to him. "You look like you need help." she said quietly. He flinched when she came closer.

"Please don't...don't hate me. I-I always told him to stop, b-but, he never listened. He was always s-s-so much stronger than me. I-it wasn't my fault. Please don't hate me." he sobbed. "Please, please, please." he cried, rocking back and forth. Natasha swallowed. It was disturbing to see the god like this. She had never even thought it possible for him to be in such a vulnerable position after New York.

"Can you stand?" she asked gently. Tears spilled down his cheeks as he shivered. She took that as a no and spread the towel out over him. "C'mon. Let's get you nice and dry. Maybe them you'll feel a bit better." He jerked when she touched him, beginning to cry harder.

She grunted when she tried to pull him up. He was resisting her, therefore much heavier. "Loki...I'm trying to help you. Please let me help you into bed." After a few more minutes of coaxing, she finally got him to stand up and wrap the towel around him. She was surprised at how well endowed he was. 'He truly _is_ a god.' she thought. She pushed the thought from her head. Loki seemed really upset right now and she couldn't afford to be distracted.

She stepped out of the bathroom, not caring if they trailed water everywhere. Not at the moment anyway. She'd clean it up later.

She led Loki to the bed and had him sit down. She grabbed another towel from the bathroom and came back to dry Loki off. She frowned at the bruises and other injuries littering his body with a furrowed brow. As she worked, the god kept trying to curl into a ball, so she made quick work of it. When she was done, he curled up into a tight ball, sobbing.

She sat down next to him and reached out to stroke his hair. He seemed to calm at this so she didn't stop. After he stopped shaking and came back to himself, he sat up, refusing to look at her.

"You wanna talk about it?" she asked. He shook his head. She nodded and stood. "Wait." he said quietly. She turned back to the god. "Yes?" she asked. He drew his knees up to his chest and stared at her feet.

"Why are you up here?" he asked. She sighed. "You were upset. I'm sorry Clint was such a jerk, ok. He's like that sometimes." she said. He nodded. "He had nothing to do with what happened." he said quietly. She sat down. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?" she urged. He looked at her for a long time before answering.

"No...I am sure. And please, don't tell anyone of this." he told her. Without looking at her, he spoke again. "Tell Barton that I am truly sorry for using the Tessaract on him. I had no choice. I could have killed him to get it to the Other. I would have."

She nodded and left the bedroom. She paused for a few moments, listening for any sings of distress. When she heard none, she went to the elevator. She pressed the down button and waited. After five minutes, nothing happened. She cursed. She was going to have to take the stairs back down to the communal floor now.

'Damn Bruce and his spilled tea.' she thought as she reached the bottom of the stairs, breathing heavily.

* * *

><p>Clint looked up at her as she entered the room. "Hey babe. How was <em><strong>Queen of Green<strong>_?" he asked around a spoonful of chocolate ice cream. She glared at him.

"You know Clint, perhaps you can be a lot nicer to him. You're not the only one the Tessaract messed with. Loki was affected by it too." she said. He stared down at his ice cream. "How do you know?" he asked. She crossed her arms. "Because I just talked to him. Long story short, he said he's sorry for using the Tessaract on you." Clint looked down at his ice cream.

"Maybe you should just talk to him sometime." she suggested. He grimaced and put his bowl down. "No thank you." he grumbled, walking out of the room. Natasha sighed. She'd go and check on Loki in the morning. Maybe she'd bring more weed to share.

* * *

><p>Loki sighed and searched through his drawers for a clean pair of clothes to put on.<p>

He had almost told Natasha his secret tonight. Almost. He couldn't risk it getting back to Thor. Thor would surely kill Fandral if he ever found out. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let his brother live with the shame if this ever became public in Asgard.

He shook his head. Thor would never forgive him.

"Awww. Are you planning to retire early? I was really hoping to have a bit of fun." Loki froze. 'No.' he thought, struggling to reign in his panic. 'Please, Fates not tonight.' he begged.

Fandral wrapped his arms around Loki from behind and pulled him close. Loki sobbed quietly when the man nibbled his ear. "You know I love you right?" he said. Loki turned his face away from Fandral's affections. "Please...not tonight. I'm just so tired." the god moaned. Fandral laughed.

"Well, you don't have to do anything. Just let me do all the work." he said. Loki tried to pull away from him. "No, stop. This cannot go on. It mustn't." Loki gave a silent sigh of relief when he felt Fandral's body leave his. He wasn't expecting the sharp slap that came next.

"You think to tell me what is best? You who is nothing more than a bastard Jotun runt?" Fandral hit him again, harder this time.

"Get on the bed. I think we will try something different tonight." Loki's blood turned to ice.

He hated it when Fandral wanted to try new things in bed. It was never for his benefit.

* * *

><p>Natasha sighed as she got to the last few steps. Damn Loki for living at almost the top floor of Stark's Tower. And damn Tony for allowing it. She stopped to catch her breath before she went in.<p>

Loki was sitting on the floor with his back leaning on the front of the sofa, sitting stiller than she thought possible for any being, god or not. He didn't even seem to blink. He was paler than usual she noticed. He didn't even seem to notice she was there. She came around the side, holding her already prepared joint out as a peace offering.

"Hey Loki." she said quietly. He swallowed as she sat down. "Wanna have some fun?" she asked. He eyed the bag and extra rolling paper. "I figured after last night you could use something to relax." She held her breath as his green eyes widened.

"What do you know of last night?" he asked. She leaned away from him. "Well I mean you were pretty shaken up after I helped you out of the shower. Don't you remember? I didn't tell anybody. I swear. I just told Clint that you didn't mean to use the Tessaract the way you did on him." she explained. Loki calmed a bit, visibly less tense.

"So...wanna get baked?" she asked. He nodded slowly. "Would it be possible to make this substance stronger?" he asked. She nodded. "Well, there are different types of marijuana, each with different strengths. Later I can see if I can get some. But for now, this is the strongest I've got." she said. He nodded and she lit the joint.

With in the hour, they were both rolling around on the floor, giggling. Suddenly, Loki stopped. He began to cry hysterically. "Loki? Loki what's wrong?" Natasha asked.

"I- I can't do it any more! I can't. Iv'e kept it in for so long. Please don't think less of me, but, I must tell someone." he said. Natasha moved closer.

"What's going on? I thought we were having fun." she said. He nodded. "We were. But...I just...there is something I must tell you. I have a terrible secret and it is eating me away inside. I must tell someone. Please let me tell you." he begged. She nodded. "What is it?" she asked. Tears continued to stream down his face as he refused to look at her.

"You mustn't tell Thor. Or anyone else. Especially not Thor. He would be so angry. He would never look at me the same way ever again. I prefer the way he looks at me now, thinking I cheat on him with Fandral, to the way he would if he knew. I can't bear the thought of losing him because of what I did." he said. He paused, shaking a bit. "You must promise me you will tell no one." he said. Natasha nodded. "Of course. I swear." She took a deep breath and held out a newly rolled joint.

"Do you need to calm down a bit before you start?" she asked. He nodded and took it without another word. She lit it for him and watched as he inhaled deeply before handing it back. He closed his eyes as he exhaled.

"What I am about to tell you must not pass through your lips for any reason. I do not know what I would do if you did not keep your word, but I assure you it would not be pleasant." he cautioned. Natasha nodded. "Your secret can't be that bad...can't it? I mean nothing worse than what I've done right?" she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Loki took a deep breath, not answering. After several long moments, he spoke. With the way he was acting, Natasha feared what she was about to hear.

"When it first happened, I was but a boy of seven."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Ha! Bet you're like: Why did you stop there? Come on! You are a terrible person. Don't worry. The next chapter will be posted in a couple of weeks. I'm a slow typer and typing 5-6k words takes me a while. Until then, enjoy this!

;)

Just so you know, I will be changing the name on this series from 'Tortures of A Broken Mind' to 'Fears of A Broken Mind'. I know, I know. It's just one word. Blah, blah, blah. But it's been bugging me for weeks now because it's such a perfect title for this series. And I am also thinking of making another series and naming it 'Tortures of A Broken Mind' so it will be a sister series to this one. Maybe.

So with that said, I will be changing it in two weeks. I don't know if this will affect the way it is saved to your bookmarks or not so I think that will be enough time for you to save this somewhere before I change the name. If you don't get to it, just look for my name. Hope you're all enjoying this series so far. I sure do enjoy writing it even if it is a bit sad.

;)


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